Women’s Ministry as a Charge Not A Retreat

Dear Mary Lou, 

Introduction: 

Thank you so much for reaching out to us! We are so happy that you are involved in a wonderful church that is thriving under the teaching of Pastor Gerald. Women being in a church that is dedicated to the worship of God and to training up its members to obey God in everything that we do is vital to every woman’s spiritual well being! 

Now, to address the questions you had about whether or not you should start a women’s ministry and if so, what should it look like. 

To cut straight to the point, we do not think that starting a women’s ministry would be a profitable endeavor to embark upon. But, before you close this letter in a huff, let us explain our reasons for saying this. 

What Women’s Ministries Have Become:

Women’s ministries have become an avenue for women to indulge in all kinds of sinful habits which would ultimately cancel out any profit they would have served in the first place. First of all, they tend to foster bad relationships that originate from the sharing of woes and hardships in our life. Women are naturally compassionate creatures and as a result of that, when we hear that someone we know is suffering, we desire to ease their suffering. Sadly, the sufferings shared in women’s groups are often issues that the other women have no business knowing about, especially when it involves a grievance that should have been overlooked. However, in a time where women are not being taught to be sober-minded(1 Peter 5:8) prayer requests often turn into prayer for a “husband who is not doing his part”, or “kids that are just difficult to deal with”, or “not feeling appreciated”, the list can go on. Before you know it the circle becomes one big gossip fest of “I know exactly how you feel!” And the entire group is empathizing with one another in an effort to comfort by being “relatable”. We all just got into the Compassion Boat of the Wallowing River that is headed straight for the Anything Goes Waterfall and no one thought to release the Anchor of God’s Word. Compassion is a wonderful gift from God, but it must be properly put under the standards of Scripture.

The second thing that women’s ministries tend to foster, which was touched on in the previous paragraph, is an impudent attitude toward the head that God has placed over each woman. The leader of the women’s ministry tends to take the place of the husband or father, as it relates to his spiritual leadership, over the women in the group. Instead of each lady going to her husband or father for spiritual counsel, the women go to the head of the ladies group for advice because she, “Understands what I am going through, and my husband doesn’t.” Instead of just overlooking sin (Prov. 19:11) or going to your brother in Christ to discuss your problems trusting that God placed him as your spiritual head for a reason, women tend to go to the woman’s ministry leader in the name of “I need help” when they should have discussed these issues with their husbands. Especially if the grievance involves their husband and they have not talked about it over with him  yet. 

Our final reason for advocating that you not start a women’s ministry is that they tend to be an avenue of retreat and procrastination for women who find their tasks to be overwhelming and uninteresting. Sadly, many women view the Tuesday night women’s Bible Study as a “night off from the kids.” They find their children (whom they raised) to be hooligans and as a result, they are tired and need a break from having to care for them. The ultimate problem with this is that the children are imitating the behavior that they have seen from their parents and are now operating according to that standard; but that is another letter for another day. You get the point. You can easily tell that these get-togethers waste time and are used more as a retreat when you hear the announcement “ The Women’s Ministry will be doing an event of camping called ‘Give Me S’more of Jesus!’ Next Tuesday at…” We are not kidding you! This was actually an idea given for a Women’s ministry night. Now there is nothing wrong with getting together with a group of ladies to have s’mores and a night off very occasionally, but for pity sake do not try to get a night off every week by coming up with cheesy catch phrases just so you can continue neglecting your duties all the while couching it in the name of Christ. 

In conclusion, we find that women’s ministries have now turned into a wonderful time where Susie tells Margaret that Robert is not meeting her needs while Barbara is stuffing her face full of S’mores telling Jackie how her tank has been emptied due to misbehaved and ungrateful children and this is just the comfort she needed. 

What You Should Actually Be Aiming For: 

Now that we have told you, Mary Lou, why you should not start a women’s ministry in your church, let us lay before you why you SHOULD start a women’s ministry for your church. 

This may seem like a contradiction, so let us quickly explain ourselves. What you should be striving for in your church is something some of our faithful sisters in Christ call “a ministry of women” rather than a women’s ministry; and there is a vast difference between the two. The women’s ministry is geared toward meeting the needs of the other women in the group (which often tend to be sinful preferences) whereas the ministry of women is geared toward building up the community and particularly, the body of Christ. When you think about it this way and it is centered around this mission it changes everything. This view has the women charging instead of retreating. 

First this ministry teaches women to turn a profit on their time, talents, and treasures through fruitfulness and obedience. A woman with this view looks at what God has given her and what God has called her to and she seeks to bring honor and glory to God in how she uses the gift of her time. She seeks to bless others through her efforts and she seeks to give a picture of her Good and Gracious Heavenly Father in all that she does. A way that this could be done is by asking a woman who is really good at a certain skill to teach her sisters in Christ how to do it. For example, someone could host a floral workshop and teach the women how to arrange the flowers that they are growing or that their husbands give them into a beautiful arrangement that then blesses the entire family. You could also do an interior design class for how to decorate your house in a way that is safe for littles. This type of artistic, skillful living teaches women how to bless their communities and their families with the talents and opportunities that the Lord has given them.

This ministry of women also teaches women to engage in very important battles that happen both within the home and outside of it. We are all constantly in spiritual battles of wanting to give up or be lazy when it comes to the duties that the Lord has laid before us. When women get together in order to better themselves and their community it constantly pushes them to try to learn and become better helpers to their husbands and community. But the ministry of women also can fight battles that are outside of the home. One battle that is very important is the abortion battle that is currently happening and this battle is specifically targeting women. It is our duty as Christians and as women, to speak out against such atrocities that are currently taking place in our states. Now, it is very important to note here, Mary Lou, that we do not think that you should abandon ship at home and run head long into this fight by running for a political office (1 Timothy 2:12) but, what we are saying is that you are sinning if you act like it is not happening in your state. Women are not called to kill because that is not what women are for (Ex. 23:19). Women are designed to give life. Therefore, we would be silly to think that fighting for life is out of our bounds. You could gather the women in your community of believers and talk about what you could be doing in order to help transform your area to be what Christ calls it to be. Make phone calls, head to abortion mills together, head to city council meetings, etc. etc. We are called as women to obey God and to call others to obey God as well. These battles are a whole lot easier and more effective when done together. 

Last, the ministry of women creates genuine friendships because it views friendship as shoulder-to-shoulder building rather than face-to-face; and when you view friendship this way you see the other people in your life as your fellow soldiers in the culture war. You all are marching under the banner of the Cross with the mindset of the Great Commission and the Dominion Mandate. This is TRUE friendship because as Kuyper says, this friendship “pushes you nearer to God.” This friendship pushes you to obey God’s commands, to take ground in what ways you can, and to speak the truth boldly. Now these friendships can begin when you take a class on hospitality together, when you learn how to level up your bread making skills, or when you learn how to be a better Christian by cultivating the skill of new ways to make your theology tangible. Then all of the sudden you find that when you attend your church gathering you go find Jackie to ask her about how she makes that delicious babka that she brought to the last class on how to sew your own curtains. This friendship is grounded in something greater than you and greater than your sisters in Christ. This friendship is grounded in Christ and His Word. This friendship produces good works that will add another stone to the Kingdom of God. This friendship views every moment as Coram Deo (before the face of God). 

In Conclusion: 

The fruit of the ministry of women produces a community of women who man their posts, whatever they may be. It produces fruitful women who return the gifts that God has given to them back to Him glorified; it produces communities rich in the beauty of holiness; it produces people who sing mightily to King Jesus; and it produces women of joy and courage who laugh at the future. This type of ministry produces women who work excellently and with all diligence six days of the week knowing that God gave us the seventh day as a day for us to rest, worship Him, and reflect upon His goodness. When you view your work in this manner, you will find that Christianity is anything but mundane. You have but to open your eyes to all that God is doing in your life and in the lives of your sisters in Christ, and to see all that He has called you all to do. Obviously this will take time to cultivate. It will not happen overnight but if you decide to plant this seed in faith, you will find that the fruit it produces will be even more glorious than you could have ever imagined. 

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20)

May the Lord bless you, Mary Lou,

Coram Deo, 

Esther and Lydia Edmonds