Embracing the Many Chapters in Your Marriage Story | Charity Edmonds

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A version of this article originally appeared in the KTC magazine.

Embracing The Many Chapters In Your Marriage Story

by Charity Edmonds

We all know the age-old story… boy meets girl, sparks fly, engagement ring is given and the wedding plans are in the works. Photos of the ring and the happy couple flood social media accounts and the wedding plans become everything that’s ever been important in life for six months to the better part of an entire year. Finally, THE day arrives. HER day. The bride is on display for all to see. The expensive dress, the hair, the veil – it’s all perfect. Before you know it, the whole day goes off without a hitch and the couple is off on their forever-dreamed-about honeymoon destination for a week of all-inclusive pampering at a resort, only to return to  -  reality.

This can be somewhat of a jarring season of life for a new wife. For months, you’ve likely been the absolute center of attention. You’ve had your former-fiancé-now-husband’s constant pursuit, your mother-of-the-brides meticulous planning, and the Pinterest-worthy bridal showers begging you to open all the gifts. This all precedes the mountaintop experience of wedding day accolades telling you how beautiful and how perfect you are, followed by the minister’s formal pronouncement of man and wife while applause and cheers erupt for you both. Soon, you are whisked off to some tropical destination of a week-long honeymoon experience, only to return to your new starter home just in time for REALITY to be knocking way too loudly on your door. You are the new Mrs.______ and yet, the crowded room of adoring wedding guests from a short week ago is no longer present while you stand in your new kitchen wondering why your husband expects three meals a day from your previously well-manicured, wedding-ready hands. You have now shockingly realized firsthand that you are a character in a story that will last far beyond the first chapter properly titled “Wedding Day”. In fact, that was simply the prelude and “happily-ever-after” expects more from you than you ever dreamed.

There’s so much talk in our culture and society about weddings. And why not? They are truly celebratory. As Christians, we should wholeheartedly make much of them. A marriage between one man and one woman is God’s idea, God’s design, and is to be celebrated. The problem is that there is way too little preparation given to what happens after honeymoon suitcases are unpacked, in comparison with the frenzied planning and fanfare dedicated to wedding ceremonies and receptions. We spend far too much energy in preparation of a one-day event compared to the meticulous Biblical preparation needed for a lifetime of joyful obedience of a bride for all time. God, in His divine providence, has given us so many ups and downs in life. We are sanctified by His grace in it all. Our marriage stories are no different. To be sure, there are ceremonies and celebrations like the wedding day that grace us and encourage our hearts. There are also many days spent being obedient in the never-ending mundane tasks. There are seasons of lost jobs, tight budgets, illnesses and times so busy that you cannot even catch a breath. What does the bride do then? Does she look back at the wedding day footage with longing in her heart for that time in her life that was so much better than the uncertainty of these ups and downs outside of her control?

The Bible tells us that there are seasons for so many things (Ecclesiastes 3). Married couples live through those seasons. We are also told in 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”. Later in 2 Peter 1:3 we are given what I believe is one of the most beautifully encouraging statements in all of Scripture. “His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence”. We have all we need for all the seasons of life. We have want of nothing in order to live for His glory. We can rejoice always because He has provided all we need.

And so, our young bride returns home from her honeymoon and sets out on a journey that is actually a story for the ages. A story that God has written, God has ordained. It is a wild ride. It is an epic thriller, in fact. The bride has been assigned a role by THE Author of life. And how much she trusts The Author is the most important part, because the lines are custom written for her, and the plot is full of twists and turns. Some of them are happily adventurous, exciting, filled with laughter and smiles. Some chapters, however, are filled with difficulty and she might think that far too much is being asked of her. What does she do? Does she frantically attempt to alter the plot, or does she faithfully step up to the spotlight and play the best character ever portrayed?

God’s ways are perfect (Psalm 18:30). He is a compassionate and faithful Father (Psalm 103:13). He divinely ordains the seasons of our stories that He wrote for us before the foundation of the world (Psalm 139:16). And most importantly, they are good works ordained for us to walk in (Ephesians 2:10). So, step up to deliver the role in your story because it is glorious. It might be glorious because you have been ordained to live a season of encouraging a weak husband who is struggling through a difficult time. He is your brother in Christ. Live your role in that moment faithfully. And joyfully. Lean on the Lord who you know ordained all of your moments. Live full of prayer and immersed in Scripture. It might be your duty to gloriously live through a hard chapter because you are called upon to walk in a season of trial due to lack of finances. God knows, He sees, and He hears you. Remember, He wrote the story. Live your role giving glory to Him as you find out how to be more and more frugal. Pray constantly. Seek Him. Play your part with faithfulness and joy as you remember that HE authored this chapter too.

The fact is that the whole world belongs to God. He created it, owns it all, and moment by moment He is orchestrating every intricate detail in such ways that we will never understand or comprehend. And that same God, knows you by name. He gave you that man, that once upon a time-dream come true wedding, the unforgettable honeymoon…. And also, the mundane Mondays you weekly live out. Don’t call for the understudy when your lines are too much for you. Step up to the microphone no matter what He asks you to say or do and deliver a performance that will be talked about for generations to come. Do it faithfully and confidently and all the while, sing His praises.